Where have you been

So the fantasy season is nearing its midway point and I have been MIA. Let me get you up to speed. I am in three leagues only this year and the 8 I was in last year was just too much. This year was also my first foray into the PPR format. Where have you been all my life. A scoring system that values WRs as much as RBs? Is this bizarro world? Love it.

So how is your first round pick doing? SJax has an injured vag, Larry Johnson forgot how to run until Priest Holmes got healthy, Shaun Alexander is making my Frank Gore selection look dynamite. And those of you who took Maroney or Jones Drew at the end of round one, sorry bud. Even Willie Parker has forgotten to cross the stripe and LT was mortal the first 4 games. Oh but you drafted Addai, yeah he's been a stud. But he is also as fragile as a Faberge egg. He will kill someone in their fantasy playoffs. So what RB has exceeded expectations? Well I was fortunate enough to get Ronnie Brown in the 3rd round. After Cam Cameron gave Mike Mularkey his playbook back Brown was a monster. Far and a way the best back in the league. he was even killing the Pats before Miss Cleo threw a bad pick and ended Ronnie's season in the aftermath. I guess i van be thankful that the fantasy gods convinced me to trade Brown for Westbrook that week. And for those of you paying attention, I know I said Westbrook is on my do not draft list, bit this is my first PPR league and I guess Westbrook made my will trade for list.



I digress. I love my Patriots but even I am starting to feel bad in the second half as I watch them destroy and humiliate grown men. If you had Brady as your top rated QB stand and take a bow. Lets think back, "Of the top three QB's, I think Brady is the best. So why do I have him at #3? Well because the Patriots have too good of defense." I made this statement way before the season but also before the spy scandal. If I would have known then that Belichek had every intention of slaughtering teams it wouldn't have mattered about how few points the defense held them to.

Anyways, I don't want to talk about 20 different things in one blog since I have been away so long so i will just end it here and make more frequent posts while bored to tears at work.

GO PATRIOTS!!!

I love to say I told you so

As the fantasy draft season approached I was preaching that I was targeting a spot at the end of round 1. I was not enamoured with the big three and I had my wagon hitched to the backs that would be available at the end of the round but more importantly, I wanted a stud WR. In fact, I moved up in the third round to ensure I could get 2 WR in my top ten. As the season has started we are reminded that defensive backs in the NFL are terrible. WR are going bonkers exploiting the likes of the Saints, Bengals, Lions, Giants, Cowboys (except when Grossman is your QB) and whomever is playing the Patriots. I play in a PPR league so my infatuation with WRs has been well founded. When I was able to get Steve Smith and Chad Johnson I almost crapped my pants. We all know Smith is prone to the occasional disappearance but nobody has more big games (except a happy Randy Moss) that the speedy little elf. As far as Johnson, we all new that Marvin Lewis is yet to find a defense that can stop anyone, so we all new that the Bengals would be in shootouts all year. With R. Kelly...I mean Chris Henry out for at least the first 8 games there wasn't going to be anyone around to vulture the TDs from Johnson and Housh. So far my plan has worked swimmingly. Now I too have been slightly bit by the underachieving RB. Getting Frank Gore at #7 was like seeing your office crush bend over to reveal a sassy little thong. Although he has delivered the TDs that he was unable to get last year, the yards, and especially the receptions, have disappeared. Now I know Alex Smith is going to be a bust the likes of Cade McNown and Akili Smith, but he was terrible last year and Gore still gauged run defenses. Now it's a little too early in the year to crown yourself champion or start building for next year, but if you are 0-3, don't be afraid to shake up your squad. I know you convinced yourself after the draft that you had built the greatest team on paper, but face it, your teams not that good. Bite the bullet and make some deals. I was an abysmal 0-2 last year so I traded my only untradeable player and my best WR to start fresh. I rolled of 7 straight victories after the first deal, so I speak from experience. On the flip side, if you're 3-0, don't get too comfy. You are one injury a way from going into the tank, use the next few weeks to fleece the have-nots and build some superior depth on your squad. my goal is to have one more good player than I need at every position. When Portis got hurt last year it was nice to have Marion Barber waiting on my bench. So get to it men and good luck with the rest of your season. Go Patriots!

My Brady Quinn list

For all those that watched the draft you can surmise what the Brady Quinn theory is. A guy with perceived talent plummets down the draft board because almost all teams have an uneasy feeling about him and can't bring themselves to pull the trigger.

This year will be my first venture into a points per reception format. I am still a little uneasy about the prospects. I was able to pull myself away from the riveting Dolphins/Chiefs preseason game long enough to crunch some numbers. What I found was both shocking and disturbing. I know every year is a different but looking over the 2006 totals in a PPR format I was surprised to see that Brian Westbrook was the #4 RB in total scoring. Are you kidding? I get that some people are enamored with his all around game but he is one of those guys on my list. You know what I'm talking about. Every fantasy rube has a small list of players that for whatever reason they just refuse to draft. Forever now to be know as my Brady Quinn list. For some it's players from a rival team and for others it's just a gut feeling. I bear no ill will towards the Eagles but for some reason or another the top two people on my "will not draft" list are Westbrook and McNabb. I cannot explain this phenomenon other than to say if you are in my league and are hoping that one of those two will fall to you I assure you I will not be sniping you and dashing your hopes and dreams. So I really started thinking and discovered that I have a few more players that although have huge fantasy potential, I could never have them on my team. I did a mock draft and found that even at pick #7 I would pass on Gore and Westbrook. I know it sounds crazy and all the people that have Gore kool-aid packets think I'm an idiot but this guy is one cut away from ACL tear #3! It would be like me wasting a high first round pick on Terry Allen or Robert Edwards (remember him?...damn pro bowl). And then their is that Cowboys receiver who doesn't deserve to be named. I understand he led the league in TD receptions last year but I wouldn't take him unless he was sitting on the board in round 6. This is my personal opinion but I would much rather have guys I want to cheer for as I am watching the ticket on Sundays. Which brings me to Donald Driver. I just cannot cheer for the Packers to do anything so it's very counterproductive for me to be rooting against my own player.

This may be the most pointless posting yet but hey, I've got the time. But think about it, you know in your heart of hearts that you have a small list of players that regardless of the round, you just can't bring yourself to pull the trigger. Such is my fate as I play the guy with Driver and he goes for 100 and 3 scores against the Vikings. Oh well, at least now I have an excuse for losing. Go Patriots! RIP Scott.

Fairwell to a friend

I lost a good friend in the tragic bridge collapse here in Minneapolis. Not only was he a good friend but he was a good person. As is painfully obvious by the fact that I write a blog to myself, I may get a bit carried away with fantasy football. Scott was fully aware of my insanity because immediately after the Superbowl I would bring up prospects for next years fantasy season. He too was a fantasy rube but he spread out his love between Nascar, golf and football. Despite the fact that I feel I know everything I would often seek out his opinion on all things fantasy and life. He was always good about sharing his opinion and more often than not, you agreed with him. It's hard to explain to those people that weren't close to him how good of a guy he really was. It is still weird showing up for work each day and not seeing his car parked in the exact same spot every single day. It's weird not being able to get away from my desk when I'm stressed and have someone willing to put up with my inane ramblings. I have unfortunately lost a few friends too soon in this life and I hope this will be the last. Believe me it doesn't get easier with experience. Scott's place in my fantasy league will be preserved forever. He had the pick right before me and I know he had a bead on my rankings so maybe I can get a better team since a shrewd fantasy mind will no longer be with us. To anyone who actually reads this, pray for his family that they recover his body soon so we can all get some closure. Go Patriots, Go Scott!

Mock drafts

So this year more than ever I have participated in some mock drafts on a few of the different sites that offer them. My opinion after doing about a dozen is that they are garbage. Each mock draft has a few major flaws that cannot be avoided. You are always set into a fake league that assigns draft spots or lets you pick whatever is still available. The ones where you are randomly assigned are the worst. You always get a handful of the those of kids you hated growing up. You know the ones, they take their ball and go home if things don't go their way. So these guys jump into the draft and see that they are at the back of the first round and leave so the computer drafts for them. Well I wish my league was me drafting against a computer because a computer picks the worst teams ever. Lets throw ESPN under the bus. I went into a mock and put myself on auto pick for 2 drafts. The results were scary. In the first one the computer selected a QB in 3 of the first 5 rounds. WTF!!! My first RB was selected in round 6. Talk about do the opposite. I dismissed this as a fluke and went in again. In the second computer controlled draft my team selected a TE 3 rounds in a row. And not rounds 10-12 but rounds 4, 5 and 6. Are you kidding me? I would rather take Daniel Graham in the last round than take one TE before round 5. So how are these labeled mocks? Unless you draft in a league with the cast of The Ringer you aren't going to get a top ten WR in the 5Th round because other teams are drafting 3 QBs and TEs. So if you are basing you predictions off of these mockdrafts I would like to form a league and you are invited to join. That's enough ranting for today, back to work. Go Patriots!

Draft season

I am returning from hiatus to explore some the excitement of draft season. As we each approach or upcoming season we feel the hope and promise of championships past. But what is the right strategy to ensure success? I don't know if anyone has the right formula because after all it's fantasy and only the really players can control the stats the earn for our make believe lineups. For the first time ever I think I am hoping to earn a spot at the back of the first round of my ten man league. Besides the top two RBs I don't know who I see as having the blowup year. I guessed right with Willie Parker last year but no one is really grabbing me right now. Of course LJ could be huge but I just have so many questions about the people around him. And people love Frank Gore but he's on borrowed time and due to blow out a knee at any minute. Plus, I can't draft a guy that early that may or may not even reach double digit scores. Sure Tiki was great as a yardage monster but the only time I ever drafted him was when he fell to me in one of my leagues at the 11th pick. So the money from most people right now is on Joseph Addai. Can I see 1500 and 15 TDs from him? Absolutely! Can I see 1200 an 9 TDs because Peyton Throws for 40 scores? You bet! So if I end up at #3 I would dance with the girl who brung me here. I have gone roll tide for 5 straight years and only once did I leave feeling unsatisfied. So Shaun Alexander is my horse after LT and Jackson. I don't see anything less than 1300 and 16 TDs. That's an off year for Alexander and I'll take that all day.

But if I get my wish and get pick #8 I think I'll get huge quality at my #1 RB and my #1 or #2 WR which this year is critical because I don't see nearly as much depth at the #1 WR spot. In a perfect work Alexander gets overlooked and falls to me but that is not likely so if I get Parker or the playoff friendly schedule of Rudi Johnson at 8 and then pull Smith or Holt on the way back I'll be happier than a sailor in a Thai whore house.

I'll be finding ou my draft slot soon so I'll be back to piss and moan about how I got screwed and ask for guidance from the 2 people that read this blog and think it sucks. Go Patriots!

Top QB's

I have decided to start my breakdown of my personal rankings at the different positions. Since I don't give two shits about defensive players you won't be seeing a list of them. Lets start with the pretty boys. Of all the porcelain dolls that sport a red jersey whom would I most want to captain my fictitious sports dynamo? You have to take many things into account when judging a QB. The two things I focus on most are offense and defense. Let me elaborate. You need to have some good skill around you on the offensive side. Manning is good but could he st records throwing to Bobby Wade or Billy McMullen? Probably not, so good luck if you draft a Vikings QB. The first thing I do is analyze the two things that I think make a successful offensive team: o-line and running game. Wait, what about WR? Doesn't matter if you can't keep the defense honest. Last year we saw the potential emergence of two future stars at the RB position in Maroney and Addai. If you have either of them in a keeper league I commend your foresight. But what they will help most is their QB. Who knew Brady and Manning needed more help? But, you need a line to pave the way for the RB and give the QB time to scan the field so forget about Russell or McNown or Walter or even Ronald Curry if he switches back to his natural position. As far as defense goes it pays to have as little skill on that side as possible. This creates shootouts and lots of points.


So lets take a look at what I have so far.
1. Peyton Manning
Wow! I really went out on a limb on that pick. But wait, there's more. For the first time ever I have two QB's I could justify in the first round, but I digress. Manning has it all. Two pro bowl caliber receivers with a brand new toy in the slot. A stud young RB who is ready to take over the gaping whole left when Edge chased the money to go to RB purgatory. I digress again. Manning also has a line who make it a life's mission to make sure his uniform stays white and ugly. So if you miss out on the big four RB's, that's right, I have a fourth but that is for another day, don't sleep on Manning at #5 if you want a chance at huge points. Oh, he also has a defense that may make it a need for a shootout at any moment.

2. Parson Calmer (sp?)
I know how to spell his name but it has become tradition to mix it up. What does Palmer have going for him this year that makes him worthy of first round consideration? How about a line with two very good tackles, the third best #2 WR in the league and a RB that puts up the most boring 1,300 and 12TDs you have ever seen. I am still not convinced that Marvin Lewis has done enough to put his imprint his style on this defense to avoid the occasional shootout. Remeber San Diego last year?

3. Tom Brady
I have to point out that I am a very biased Patriots fan before you read this. The Patriot have been playing with a list of AFL cast-offs at WR the passed few years and Brady has been better than solid. Rumor has it the Patriots made some moves in the offseason to try and shore up that weakness but I don't need to gloat. Of the top three QB's, I think Brady is the best. So why do I have him at #3? Well because the Patriots have too good of defense. Yeah they may need me to suit up in the secondary at some point this season as their DBs seem to go down more than Kim Kardashian, but Asante Samuel be damned they always find a way. Plus I think that a healthy Maroney will score tons of points so if Maroney goes down I bump Brady up a spot. With a strong running game and a new, flashy WR core, Brady will be able to overcome the lack of shootouts with the smooth consistency of a man that can knock up a smokin' hot babe and move straight to another smokin' hot babe. If that's what you are into.

4. Drew Brees
Every year one of the top rated QB's has a down year. Brees is my choice to be that guy. But if he does have another strong year at least I can act like I expected it. Here are my big concerns with Brees. First, his WR core scares me. Is Colston for real or the reincarnation of Michael Clayton? Will Devery Henderson learn to catch? Can Lendale...I mean Robert Meachem stop eating long enough to get back in shape to play football? So what does Brees have going for him? Well he has two good RB's that will help take the pressure off and a defense, that unless I missed something this offseason, blows worse than Paris Hilton. I mean come on, can she try a little harder when she's on camera? So Brees will produce but he'll have more duds that the three above him.

5. Marc Bulger
I had a tough time deciding between Bulger and Tony Romo. I went with Bulger because he has proven himself in more than just one half season and I trust his stud WR mutch more than I trust Romo's. Plus, I heard Bulger has a decent RB that also helps a lot in the running game. And as John Lopuch from Fanball reminded me, he gets Orlando Pace and Andy Mccollom back this year. Did I mention that they have a disgraceful defense and an offensive minded head coach. Those are the makings of a highly productive fantasy QB.


Honorable Mention:
Tony Romo - I love MBIII, Matt Hasselbeck - healthy, Donovan McNabb - I'd never take him in a million years.

Breakthrough year - Matt Leinart (noodle arm but great WR's and a much better O-line)
Bust - Eli Manning (obvious)
Super Sleeper - Matt Schaub (would love to draft him as my #2 only because of Johnson)


Well there you have it. You may agree or disagree but what do I care, at least I made an effort. What have you done? Look for my RB rankings next week. Be sure to take my rankings with a grain of salt because guys in my league may read this (no one is reading this) so I may throw some curveballs at you to try and cath them. Go Patriots!

p.s. closed circuit to all the idiots out there: if you weren't retarded you would realize that this ranking wasn't the only post in the blog. If you think it is please just go back to your job at the gas station and there is no need to come back.

Let "sleeper" dogs lie

Admit it, every year as the fantasy football season approaches we all have our guys that are going to be the sleeper picks of the century. I drank the Wali Lundy kool-aid last year, I admit it. But how many of the sleepers really pan out. I would tell anyone that would listen that I was hearing info that Travis Henry, the perceived #3, was actually going to be the starter in Tennessee. But even my brother-in-law dismissed me and put his fortunes in the hands of Chris Brown. OUCH! My uber-sleeper last year was Cedric Cobbs (who??). He was a machine at Arkansas and single-handedly beat Texas one year. He was 3rd on the depth chart in Denver due to an ankle injury. That injury was what opened the door for Mike Bell. Being that Shanny would consider putting me in for a game to prove just how great of a running game he has, I started to see the potential. A couple years ago I laughed at the idiot that drafted Rueben Droughns and 4 weeks into the season I was throwing trade offers at him. So last year Cobbs was my sleeper darling. My last two picks in my draft were Travis Henry and Cedric Cobbs but since I didn't have a defense for week one and I had Alexander and Corey Dillon or Thomas Jones for the beginning of the season I decided that Henry was the expendable one because Cobbs was starting to get reps with the first team, and we all love Denver's running game, so there is no way I am going to get into a bidding war for a guy I just drafted and released. As we are all now aware, the results didn't turn out to well but I did undress the last place guy that picked up Henry by later trading him Randy Moss after his only good game.

My point here is that a sleeper is never going to be your #1 guy. I have had some undrafted players become starters (Rudi Johnson and Dominick Davis 2003), but never the guys I drafted late (actually you'll learn of a stud later). Some of these "sleepers" are memorable: you have heard about the RBs last year but did I mention I thought Billy Volek would blow up, before he was traded to become San Diego's clipboard carrier. How about Tatum Bell every year he's been in the league? Could this guy at least tell you what week he's going to actually play well? The only beacon of hope comes from a few years back when I was able to snag McGahee with the last pick in the draft and watched him, Manning and Tomlinson lead me on a second have run to the championship.


The receivers are a whole other level of futility. Last year Michael Clayton was going to burst back on the scene in a big way. And remember Troy Williamson? Yes he still plays in the NFL. He was going to flourish as the #1 guy in Minnesota. What was your favorite Williamson as the #1 moment? Sorry Barreiro, I stole that but you'll never read this anyway. Receivers are tricky because even high picks may tank it on you. But there is hope because powerhouse team I had a few years ago with Manning, Tomlinson and McGahee also had my first ever draft pick from those hated Packers...Javon Walker. That sleeper WR was a great pick because he was big piece of my acquisition of Tomlinson. I finished that season with three rookies out wide: Roy Williams, Lee Evans and Michael Clayton. Those three suited me just fine, but I digress.

The point to all this is that it isn't as cool to say that I drafted Travis Henry as it would have been to say I properly defended my championship. I worried more about wowing people with my keen eye for the late round gem than I did with picking the guys that will carry the bags. So don't be a dumb ass. Put together a list of guys that you know will deliver and never overrate a guy that no one else even knows is in the league because he'll still be there when the drafting's done.

Since my league isn't insane enough to have our draft this early I am not in a position to share my 2007 sleepers just yet. But have no fear because after the draft I will make my predictions known so if you were unfortunate enough to have drafted one of my gems you will still have time to drop them. Go Patriots!

Can you smell fantasy football season?

Over the past few years I have read an insane amount or articles in regards to fantasy football by the so called experts. You catch yourself wondering how such a douche bag could get such a sweet job when he clearly own s a team that finishes last in his league every year. Well I decided it's time for me to offer my sage advice and have it documented so I too can be looked at as one of those idiots that seems to know absolutely nothing. Did I mention that two years ago I took Edge with the third pick instead of Shaun Alexander. edge had a great year but Alexander the great broke the TD record that year. I suppose I should also mention that I drafted Stephen Jackson and Brian Westbrook in the next two rounds and subsequently traded them for Shaun Alexander. So I guess things worked out fine in that regard.

This is just an introductory posting so you aren't going to get much in the way of advice because after all, the season is 4 months away. But feel free to check back, or don't, over the next few months to see what I have to say about rookies, sleepers, busts and break through performers. Last year I picked Stephen Jackson and the year before I tagged Reggie Wayne. So far so good. But just so you understand that I realize I am far from perfect in the ways of fantasy karma, I thought Wali Lundy was going to be a stud last year. You can't win 'em all. Hopefully I can at least offer one piece of good advice to help you earn your entry fee back. Even if no one has an interest in reading this at least it gives me something to do when bored at work or when my wife wants me to help clean up around the house. Go Patriots!