Top QB's

I have decided to start my breakdown of my personal rankings at the different positions. Since I don't give two shits about defensive players you won't be seeing a list of them. Lets start with the pretty boys. Of all the porcelain dolls that sport a red jersey whom would I most want to captain my fictitious sports dynamo? You have to take many things into account when judging a QB. The two things I focus on most are offense and defense. Let me elaborate. You need to have some good skill around you on the offensive side. Manning is good but could he st records throwing to Bobby Wade or Billy McMullen? Probably not, so good luck if you draft a Vikings QB. The first thing I do is analyze the two things that I think make a successful offensive team: o-line and running game. Wait, what about WR? Doesn't matter if you can't keep the defense honest. Last year we saw the potential emergence of two future stars at the RB position in Maroney and Addai. If you have either of them in a keeper league I commend your foresight. But what they will help most is their QB. Who knew Brady and Manning needed more help? But, you need a line to pave the way for the RB and give the QB time to scan the field so forget about Russell or McNown or Walter or even Ronald Curry if he switches back to his natural position. As far as defense goes it pays to have as little skill on that side as possible. This creates shootouts and lots of points.


So lets take a look at what I have so far.
1. Peyton Manning
Wow! I really went out on a limb on that pick. But wait, there's more. For the first time ever I have two QB's I could justify in the first round, but I digress. Manning has it all. Two pro bowl caliber receivers with a brand new toy in the slot. A stud young RB who is ready to take over the gaping whole left when Edge chased the money to go to RB purgatory. I digress again. Manning also has a line who make it a life's mission to make sure his uniform stays white and ugly. So if you miss out on the big four RB's, that's right, I have a fourth but that is for another day, don't sleep on Manning at #5 if you want a chance at huge points. Oh, he also has a defense that may make it a need for a shootout at any moment.

2. Parson Calmer (sp?)
I know how to spell his name but it has become tradition to mix it up. What does Palmer have going for him this year that makes him worthy of first round consideration? How about a line with two very good tackles, the third best #2 WR in the league and a RB that puts up the most boring 1,300 and 12TDs you have ever seen. I am still not convinced that Marvin Lewis has done enough to put his imprint his style on this defense to avoid the occasional shootout. Remeber San Diego last year?

3. Tom Brady
I have to point out that I am a very biased Patriots fan before you read this. The Patriot have been playing with a list of AFL cast-offs at WR the passed few years and Brady has been better than solid. Rumor has it the Patriots made some moves in the offseason to try and shore up that weakness but I don't need to gloat. Of the top three QB's, I think Brady is the best. So why do I have him at #3? Well because the Patriots have too good of defense. Yeah they may need me to suit up in the secondary at some point this season as their DBs seem to go down more than Kim Kardashian, but Asante Samuel be damned they always find a way. Plus I think that a healthy Maroney will score tons of points so if Maroney goes down I bump Brady up a spot. With a strong running game and a new, flashy WR core, Brady will be able to overcome the lack of shootouts with the smooth consistency of a man that can knock up a smokin' hot babe and move straight to another smokin' hot babe. If that's what you are into.

4. Drew Brees
Every year one of the top rated QB's has a down year. Brees is my choice to be that guy. But if he does have another strong year at least I can act like I expected it. Here are my big concerns with Brees. First, his WR core scares me. Is Colston for real or the reincarnation of Michael Clayton? Will Devery Henderson learn to catch? Can Lendale...I mean Robert Meachem stop eating long enough to get back in shape to play football? So what does Brees have going for him? Well he has two good RB's that will help take the pressure off and a defense, that unless I missed something this offseason, blows worse than Paris Hilton. I mean come on, can she try a little harder when she's on camera? So Brees will produce but he'll have more duds that the three above him.

5. Marc Bulger
I had a tough time deciding between Bulger and Tony Romo. I went with Bulger because he has proven himself in more than just one half season and I trust his stud WR mutch more than I trust Romo's. Plus, I heard Bulger has a decent RB that also helps a lot in the running game. And as John Lopuch from Fanball reminded me, he gets Orlando Pace and Andy Mccollom back this year. Did I mention that they have a disgraceful defense and an offensive minded head coach. Those are the makings of a highly productive fantasy QB.


Honorable Mention:
Tony Romo - I love MBIII, Matt Hasselbeck - healthy, Donovan McNabb - I'd never take him in a million years.

Breakthrough year - Matt Leinart (noodle arm but great WR's and a much better O-line)
Bust - Eli Manning (obvious)
Super Sleeper - Matt Schaub (would love to draft him as my #2 only because of Johnson)


Well there you have it. You may agree or disagree but what do I care, at least I made an effort. What have you done? Look for my RB rankings next week. Be sure to take my rankings with a grain of salt because guys in my league may read this (no one is reading this) so I may throw some curveballs at you to try and cath them. Go Patriots!

p.s. closed circuit to all the idiots out there: if you weren't retarded you would realize that this ranking wasn't the only post in the blog. If you think it is please just go back to your job at the gas station and there is no need to come back.